How To Transform Who You Are to Who You Want to Be
In this Article, we will focus on the one thing that will be the gatekeeper of your success in all endeavours, regardless of knowledge. That is, your Habits. Habits alone will dictate how far you can go. Whether the goal is to build Muscle, Lose Fat, or Multiply your Strength. It is only by exchanging your old habits with new ones that serve you best, which permits Guaranteed Success on your Journey.
Micro changes in our behaviour that last, are infinitely better than big changes that are short lived.
We glorify the big transformation and weight loss stories in the media, and don’t care that 99% of them are extremely unhealthy and won’t last. We are driven by our ego, not our intelligent decision making. If you have tried to lose weight before, there’s a good chance your ego took the lead over your rational mind. If you don’t want the results that most get, then you have to do something most won’t.
Now is the time to rewrite your story, the story of a champion who was lost but then found, by himself and the power of habitualizing rational thinking.
So what are the requirements or building blocks of a lasting change in our habits?
Identify Your Grand Goal + Possibility: Many ask questions of how to find motivation because they have the wrong idea of what motivation is. My first question is always: what’s the goal?...
We think it is a one-time thing when we start something and then it fades away. This is a formula for an endless cycle of failures. Instead, we should aim to treat motivation as a refilling resource. The key is to find a way to keep getting motivated over and over again, right? This is a difficult subject on its own and would need a whole course in itself. But here are the main principles of sustained motivation.
Possibility - for you to be and stay motivated, you have to first believe that the change is possible. That requires knowledge that 1. Anything is possible (especially if done by others) and 2. Have the right mindset, that is, How Well you think of your goal. If you only think of your goal as an endpoint and not a process, you of course will find fleeting “motivation” when you can no longer identify where you are in your journey. Most think of square one and the final square, but nothing else in between. But if we can identify the intermediary steps, and even model those after others that found the same success we seek, it’s much easier to feel motivated when you cross that point in the path to your goal.
Idealised Character & Self Accountability: for you to stay motivated, you need a vision of an "improved you" in the future, or better yet, the characteristics that make you improved. This is derived from the possibility of a more specific individualised outcome for yourself, lead by the Type of Man that Will take you there. You have to have a clear picture of a better life in the future in order to create it, this is the foundation of belief that makes it real and even possible. If you can’t identify what the improved version of you would do, how can you stop the old version of you from being a victim of habitualized self-belief (that is not Real). The very act of identifying an old habit being executed is the same moment the New You Enters the Scene. There is no separation of past and future, just the present moment that is gifted to you and your Will to decide what type of character you Be.
To summarise: you first identify your goal state, who you want to be. Second, you identify what characteristics that you have that allows them to be your goal state. The more detail the better.
Example: Taking EVERY opportunity to not exemplify ADD ->read every word of a caption (including hashtags to avoid mindless scrolling for dopamine). This worked wonders for me.
Next principle is more a state of awareness, patience and proactive behaviour but to drive home its power, we call it Automated Systems.
Automating Systems in Detail: is a necessary step in any lasting change. That’s what differentiates the short-lived success stories and yo-yo dieters from an actual lifestyle transformation. When the diet and body change,it is because a new majority has been created. Majority of nutrition, majority of activity, and mindset. We do need our self-image to change as well, but this only happens over time of working principle 1 & 2. If we don't exercise these first two principles for at least 60-90 days consciously we will always revert to its default setting. But we want it to become subconscious aka automate so the self accountability must be consistent. It is as true to physiology as it is to psychology. But what does it actually mean? Self-image is a perception of yourself in your mind. Who you actually think you are - your name, looks, history, personality - everything you identify yourself as.
Personally I used a morning journal daily for 1 year straight, overkill perhaps but this spell is now bound deeply into my subconscious and no one can convince me otherwise of my-self. In this journal I wrote the details from Principle 2 in both point form and expanded detail, listing how quality a would be tested and quality b made others feel. This last point, of including others in your new creation of self belief is very potent. When (not if) it comes full circle it likely will bring a tear to your eye.
When we want lasting results, we need to change this self-perception until it is buried and rooted into the subconscious. It doesn’t suffice that you lose 20 pounds. You need to identify yourself as the kind of person who does things daily that help him or her keep that 20 pounds away forever. You have to know that you are a person who sleeps well all the time, who eats healthy all the time, and invests in self-development all the time.
Do you see the difference? Changing self-image isn’t a one-time thing; it is a process of automating principle 2. The best way is to change your self-image 1% every day as you change outside factors like nutrition and physical activity. Those two support and enhance each other. It needs deliberate work and conscious effort.
An exercise for you: write down and describe in as much detail as you can a person that has accomplished what you are trying to achieve. What does he look like, how does he think, how does he eat, what kind of people does he socialise with, and so on. The more precise, the better. Read this every day and picture yourself changing more and more into that person. Act accordingly. It is much better to change that 1% every day for 100 days than to try and change 100% in one day(hint: you will fail and give up if you go 0-100).
Triggers & Responses: Self-monitoring is a tool to "keep a finger on the trigger" and adjust rapidly. It is also a very good motivational tool and helps you change that self-image by clearly identifying the differences between the two. However, it is not enough. You must decide how you will respond (not react) to the trigger being pulled.
Have you wondered why we haven’t covered the willpower as a stand alone principle? As almost all lifestyle changes and diets depend on it and fail when willpower runs out, it is the one thing you can’t build a lasting change on. That’s why you need automated systems, processes that follow as a response (not react) to a Trigger being pulled.
Theres essentially two types of triggers. 1. the ones that used to get pulled and you would react to ie: feel hungry when driving and hit the next drive through and 2. The ones that you consciously pull now
- Eating by the specific plan and specific foods to nourish your body
- Buying only those specific foods from the store in advance to not default to eating what you have available
- Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day to not feel tired in the mornings
- Monitoring your weight Daily to ensure an accurate weekly average weight.
- Doing measurements weekly
Those are just some examples of setting new triggers and responses. Most people are drifting through life without systems and processes. When they try to change, they do it with ONLY willpower and only succeed in the short term. But those changes never last. It is ok to use that motivation and willpower initially, but you should rather quickly start building those systems into your everyday life. The longer you do them consciously, the more subconscious or automated they become. The more automated they become, the less willpower and active effort they require.
Something to do: start consciously creating automated systems into your everyday life. Try to make them as easy as possible to follow.
Social environment. This is one factor that is always affecting our behaviour without us knowing. It is very powerful, but we have a built-in system in our subconscious that blocks us from understanding its effect. In other words, the social environment is affecting us almost 24/7, but we think that those are our own decisions. It is an important evolutionary process and we are powerless in avoiding it. But on the other hand, we shouldn’t - instead, we should use its amazing power. The famous saying goes that you are the average of the closest 5 people around you. And it is quite true. Just like energy-draining and destructive people cause misery in your life, uplifting and supportive people create success. You should consciously work to surround yourself with people who are role models for your own self-image. If you want to see yourself as a disciplined person who works out every other day and sleeps well - you should spend time with those kinds of people. On the other hand, if you spend time with people who eat only pizza, drink only beer, and move as little as possible - your own chances to succeed will be much lower. It wouldn’t matter how much willpower and motivation you have. That’s why we need those rules.
Okay, you might say that you can’t always choose who you interact with. That is very true. Your spouse, children, parents, and co-workers are just some examples. That said, there still are many factors you CAN affect. You can limit your time with destructive people and spend more time with motivating people.
You can speak frankly and sincerely with your closest people about your aspirations and tell them you want their support. Better yet, try to get them motivated to join you on your journey. It is so much harder to eat clean when your spouse is devouring pizza three times a day but should she join you, your power multiplies!
Find new friends. Sounds harsh, but just because you've had a six-pack of beer with John 3 times a week for the last 10 years doesn’t mean you are married to him for the rest of your life. If you have nothing else in common with John, seek out people whose aspirations and lifestyle correlate to your own. We made the RLC Discord for this purpose.
Thats it. The main principles to transform your life and succeed in the long run.
If you are serious about change or tired from trying and failing, you need to take those principles seriously and start working towards them, with or without help.
To sum it up in simple words, what you need to do is:
- Set A Goal
- Determine the Characteristics of the type of person that reaches that goal
- Reaffirm yourself being that person, daily.
- Surround yourself with positive triggers to replace the negative ones.
If you found this article helpful and want a guiding hand on your journey or to surround yourself with like minded men, join the RLC Discord and submit this form to talk with a coach about reaching your goals, and not putting it off any longer.